The Last Unicorn (the childhood lesson that life's not fair)

Now, I'll admit, I saw the movie first as a kid before ever reading the book. But since the movie was written by Peter Beagle as well, it didn't stray too far. Plus, the book is quite a delight to read with some of the most gorgeous writing I've read in a time. The descriptions throughout are so clever and genius that they haunt you long after you've finished reading. And the story is one of the few in fantasy that leaves you with a bittersweet taste. Sweet for the goal has been accomplished, but sad because the guy doesn't get the girl. I mean hell, the unicorn at the end says that she'll never be like the other unicorns again, for she's learned regret. Heavy hitting lessons, but no less real.


***SPOILER ALERT***


Unicorn Quest Pit Stop #1: After she takes off from her special forest of magical-ness, the unicorn travels along the roads, shocked that no one seems to recognize her for what she is. After being mistaken for a mare several times, she's finally kidnapped by someone who does know: Mommy Fortuna. But instead of helping her, the old hag locks her up as part of her carnival show. However, this is where she meets Schmendrick, the magician who also can tell her true nature. His loyalties don't hold for too long with Fortuna, not when she's holding a dangerous harpy and a unicorn captive. So he sets the unicorn free and they escape, although not without freeing the harpy who goes on to kill Mommy Fortuna and start a kickin' sideshow in Vegas. Kidding. Just the first part.

Unicorn Quest Pit Stop #2: Captain Cully's Camp is where Schmendrick gets spirited away after a magic trick gone wrong. Seriously, the man's a joke of a wizard and yet he manages to conjure up Robin Hood to distract Cully's men long enough for an attempted escape---only to get captured again and tied to a tree. Luckily the unicorn is intelligent and wise, not blustering like this dude and frees him so they can go on their merry way. However, they don't get too far before Molly Grue, Cully's cook, finds them and more importantly finds the unicorn. She demands to join them and similarly to before, the unicorn tolerates her human companions.

Unicorn Quest Pit Stop #3: The Final Countdown to Haggard's Castle. This is where everything combusts. The Red Bull starts corralling the unicorn to the sea like the rest of her brethren, but Schmendrick pulls some real magic at last, turning her into a human. Molly and the unicorn berate him, although through the years, I never understood their reaction. They beg him to save her and he does and then they're angry. Regardless, they head to Haggard's Castle, with the unicorn as Lady Amalthea. Since she's breathtakingly gorgeous, Haggard's son, Prince Lir falls in love with her and becomes a hero to impress her. The longer they stay, the more human she becomes and eventually, she falls for him too. The quest surfaces again though and when they try to find the Red Bull's lair, everything comes to a head and they're stuck inside with the only way out through his tunnels. Prince Lir stands to defend his lady, but Schmendrick must turn her back into a unicorn. The Red Bull begins to herd her into the sea like the rest of them, but when he tosses Prince Lir aside like a limp noodle, the unicorn despairs and for the first time, fights back. All of the other unicorns come rumbling out of the sea as the last one herds the Red Bull to his death. Everything else seems to be prancing unicorns and joyous rainbows, but wait. Oh yeah, Prince Lir's heartbroken and the unicorn must shoulder the burden of immortality having known love, having known fear and having known regret.

Rating: 4

Arrow's Flight (Herald internship leads to lots of lays)

Now, where the first book seemingly threw in some side conflict where there originally was none, this book did have a conflict fairly early on until the end. But the conflict was the hero not having control over her powers. And just like in the first book, she kept silent about her problems and it caused more trouble. Not only do you think she would've learned, but it throws her under the TSTL category. On the plus side, at least this book had more organization, which helped greatly and the introduction of the possible lifebond with Dirk made for some interesting character development.


***SPOILER ALERT***


Talia's the Villain #1: She's not actually the villain, but all of their problems stem from her. So it all begins when her partner, Kris, who she's on the internship with makes a comment about the circulating rumors that she's abusing her gift of empathy. Now, to most normal folks, well, that sucks. Might get a little bummed, somewhat annoyed, but to Talia, the special one, she takes a simple rumor and her "empathy" gift torpedoes it into a large scale problem. All because she didn't talk about it to anyone. Since empathy is supposed to be how you relate to others and not about your own feelings of inadequacy, I'm not quite sure how this makes sense.

Talia's the Villain #2: So, the entire middle half of the book takes place in a Waystation, as they're snowed in. Their problems are the blizzard outside, but mostly Talia, inside. Because she might EMOTION them all to death. Man, I wish I was joking. But that's the gigantic threat. That she'll project her empathy on Kris and since that's so super dangerous, they've gotta get it under control. So they spend the majority of the time banging as friends (although they've stated they feel brotherly and sisterly towards one another which creeps me out, because a casual fuck does not normally happen between brothers and sisters) and working on fixing her out of control gift.

Talia's the Villain #3: So, after Talia's under control, they continue on their path, solving problems as Heralds are apt to do. They encounter a rapist in a village and Talia uses her mind juju on him to trap him in a loop of torture. Magically, everything's better and even though she never really established the moral implications of her gift, she pretty much decides she doesn't give a damn by the end, making the entire struggle through the book a pointless obsolete.

Rating: 2

Arrows of the Queen (A schizophrenic's lullaby. With ponies!)

After hearing Mercedes Lackey's name mentioned in the fantasy circuit for years when I finally got around to reading her I was met with disappointment. Perhaps its because I've been reading more contemporary novels and this is a bit older, but the writing hasn't aged well at all. Between the disjointed perspective jumps from paragraph to paragraph which got repetitive and confusing (Instructor Sherril thinks this about Talia. Talia thinks exactly the same thing except with different word choice!) and the worst plotting I've seen in awhile, (big events are put in more as an afterthought: Oh yeah, we've got to have some conflict, right?) I had a hard time struggling through the book. I will give the author this, the magic system is well thought out and the world is well crafted. Aside from that, the book doesn't have much merit. Everything got glossed over in a sort of weird way, like traipsing through someone's own daydreams where they're magically good at everything and don't have to struggle. We're given no insight as to how Talia really feels about all of the events except that she tries to not cry and then proceeds to cry more than any other character. Apart from weeping, there isn't a lot of character development going on. She seems to transform by the end into some well adjusted adult through her friendship with the old man, etc. But as a reader it feels very falsified, for things happen way too easily.


***SPOILER ALERT***


Talia's so Perfect #1
The first instance of things happening too easily starts in the beginning. We get that the pony, oh wait, Companion, chose her, but really? It just HAPPENED to come at the perfect time when she runs away? No roughing it in the woods for awhile? Learning how to survive? No. When the next problem arises where she has no supplies, it's magically resolved when she goes to the next town. And the next one. And the one following. They just give her all the supplies she needs.

Talia's so Perfect #2
Her arrival at the Collegium is followed by more irrationality. First off, she's the Queen's Own. Okay, sure, special destiny, I'll suspend the disbelief. But then all of her teachers proceed to wonder at how precocious and amazing she is. Meanwhile, us readers watch her do a whole whopping nothing. She says a few words and everyone oohs and ahs at how insightful her mundane phrases are. It's a whole lot of telling us how amazing she is without actually showing any of it. The only thing she does is keep to herself when she's getting bullied and then almost dies. But rather than trying to fight back (heroic behavior) or trying to outsmart the bullies (heroic behavior) she just plays the victim in silence until everyone else saves her. Continuing her trend of doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for herself. And of course when it comes time for them to realize their gifts, Talia has the best and most rare ability they've seen in an age and people expect her to be the most super fantastic herald ever.

Talia's so Perfect #3 The farce at relationships was a killer. Skiff befriends her, good on him, and she barely says two words to him. But Talia's amazing, so he's just smitten. And the introduction of sex in this book is nothing but a giant joke. Really. Her friend Sherrill shows up after becoming a full fledged Herald and instead of saying anything about the situation drops in with sagely advice about using protection if she's going to bang Skiff. First off, while time has passed in the book, they've made no mention of it and all we have is the mental image of this thirteen year old. Secondly, how did they jump from a kiss on the cheek to full out fucking? And Talia takes it with all the excitement of a dead fish. 'Oh yes, this seems to be quite a lovely plan. Why dear Skiff, we must copulate.' And then the whopping three times they attempt to have sex, one or both of them fall asleep. It seems as if the only reason Talia's trying to fuck him is because Sherrill told her about this birth control and she's just got to try it out! Like a new fucking flavor of water ice or something. To make matters creepier, by the end of the book, her and Skiff go from deciding to just be friends, to referring to each other as brother and sister. All in one book.

The plot scrambled along like a distracted five year old in a carnival, trying to figure out what shiny thing to examine next. Maybe it's just because I'm a huge fan of character development, but this book definitely fell flat for me.

Rating: 2

Codex of Alera: Cursor's Fury (When puppies attack)

Book three of Codex of Alera brings in one of the biggest battles we've seen yet with the twist that Tavi is a man now and leading the Legion against the Canim. The Canim you say? Yes, our furry friends are the big bad invaders at this point, coming in midway through the book after Kalare has declared war on Gaius. Of course, the timing was rather impeccable since Kalarus had been corroborating with them. With our plucky friends torn in two different directions, Kalare's war quickly takes a backseat to this insane Canim invasion. This book was a treat to read though, as it drops more surprise bombs and plot twists than the previous ones, all with panache. As the couples start solidifying through this book, most of the point of view switches centralize on them and it's easy to follow.


***SPOILER ALERT***


Couples Corner #1: Isana and Fade. Fade gets poisoned and Isana tries to save him. Easy enough, right? Well, these parts throughout the entirety of the book serve you on a gold flecked platter all the questions you've had before about Isana. Yes, she is Tavi's mother. Yes, he is Septimus' son. (Almost typed Optimus there and we'd have a Transformer.) Yes, her and Fade go way back. But Butcher uses her memories combined with healing Fade and discovering his memories to reveal the truth of everything that happened the fateful day that Septimus died. Fade's selfless love for Isana, after knowing everything he'd gone through and sacrificed is both heartbreaking and beautiful, so his reward at the end of the book hits hard.

Couples Corner #2: Bernard and Amara. The two have become inseparable, especially after Amara skips her period and could possibly be pregnant. They go on a top-secret-Gaius-cursor trip to help stop Kalare and save Lady Placidia and the other unimportant chick. But, bringing Lady Aquitaine and her cronies are where things get sticky. They fight Kalare and Amara saves Rook's daughter as well as the captives, but the most important interactions are between her and Lady Aquitaine. A lot of well placed mistrust leads Amara to take the upper hand at the very end when Lady Aquitaine tries to force her onto her side and lucky for them since Odiana and Aldrick could very well throw down some hurtin'. Although Amara ends up not pregnant, Bernard and her are eager to keep trying....like in every book. (Regardless, those passages never get old)

Couples Corner #3: Tavi and Kitai. More Tavi than anything, this is his book where he really shines. From Cursor to Captain after an ill fated explosion, he turns from the small child we see in the first book into a man in this one, taking command of an entire Legion against the biggest Canim threat Alera's ever seen. Tavi really comes into his own as Septimus' son and the heir, even impressing the First Spear, Fidelias in disguise. In pure Butcher fashion, there's even a moment where the two hordes are on either side and Tavi takes some time to play ludus (chess) with Nausaug, the Canim Battlemaster. Absolutely fantastic. But on the Tavi and Kitai scale, their most important moment hits near the end, when they're ready to get busy. First Tavi, then Kitai discover they've developed the ability to furycraft, effectively dropping the biggest storybomb yet.

Rating: 4

Codex of Alera: Academ's Fury (More villains crammed in one book than a Spiderman movie)

Book two in the Codex of Alera series finds everyone from Calderon spread across Alera. Tavi is now in the Academy and is Gaius' own personal page. Of course, things couldn't be easy, seeing as he has no furies, so he's mercilessly picked on. Isana's running the steadholt now and Bernard and Amara are in their new positions. When the vord start stomping on everyone's picnics, Isana has to go to the Capitol to get help, but also for fancy appearances sake since she's the first female steadholder. Now, it wouldn't be a Jim Butcher book without a lot of action, but this book requires at least a dozen different enemies to do so.


***SPOILER ALERT***


Angry Horde #1: So, let's start with Tavi, since that's where the book picks up. He's got all these douchely Citizen dudes picking on him from the beginning. Problem is, the father of one is High Lord Kalare. He is the distraction bad guy throughout the book. He serves to just....well, cause them problems. It was a great setup for book three where he's head honcho bad guy, but man. No wonder this guy sires douches, as he sets the precedence for Primary Asshat in the first place. He sends assassins to kill Isana, but she's saved by the Aquitaines, last book's bad guys turned not-so-good guys in this book. And then when Kalare's dolt of a son gets his ass whipped by Tavi, Kalare takes on a personal vendetta against him. Granted, none of it is as bad as the chaos he causes in book three.

Angry Horde #2: The Canim. Now, I know the last book focused on the Marat, but I think more might have been mentioned about the puppyfolk. These guys haunt around the Capitol growling in people's faces and leaving dumps as open acts of rebellion against Gaius. That last part didn't happen, but it is one of the questions brought up by half humans, half wolf people. Where is the line drawn? Regardless, the Canim become a huge problem by the end of the book because of the bigger threat...

Angry Horde #3: The Vord! Between the wax spiders, possessed masses and weird buggy shapes, these guys are a boatload of fun. And since the whole rest of the Capitol is distracted by petty politics and the lack of Gaius, nobody comes until the fight is pretty much over to help poor Amara and Bernard. For the second time in a row, Calderon people are left saving the asses of the entire nation and yet people still don't believe them. The vord took on so many different appearances and forms that it became difficult to keep up all of what they could do. These guys seem like the ultimate baddies, but it's kind of hard to take them seriously when everyone's squabbling over at the Capitol, ignoring the vord while they're in full rah rah conquer mode. Despite the overwhelming number of villains in the book, Butcher manages to entangle most of them in with the vord by the end, thus making it work, rather than sink like a kitten in a vat full of pudding.

Rating: 3

Mockingjay (The depressive finale, aka, how everyone else dies)

The Hunger Games series as a whole is nothing short of genius. And don't get me wrong, I loved Mockingjay. I enjoyed all the twists and the crazy events leading to an explosive (literally) finale. BUT. Out of the three books, I found this one to be the weakest. Let's be honest, Katniss has had the world take one giant dump on her since book one. And I think everyone was hoping for a little bit of a let up for the bleakness factor in the third book. A little more triumph, fanfare, etc. Which is why the final book is so divisive for people. But, I gotta hand Suzanne Collins some props. She fervently clings to her bleakness and stark realism. And she makes a damn good story. Despite the overall despondency, the final couple pages of the book include some of the most beautiful writing I've seen in my life. So even though the majority of Mockingjay is a bleakfest, it's worth skipping to the final pages just to read those bits over and over again.


***SPOILER ALERT***


All my friends are dead moment #1: Cinna's death is finalized in this book. It was brutal watching him dragged away in book two and we knew the moment was coming. But nothing said grim like hearing that Cinna, the calm support throughout the other two novels finally bit the bullet. Cinna was just the beginning though and the other two deaths were the hard hitters that had people questioning the ending so much. And then Boggs dies, right as you're really getting to like him. Way to drive the knife deeper.

All my friends are dead moment #2: Finnick. He just haaaaad to marry Annie only chapters before and we just haaaaad to get way too attached to him. His character was one of the best fleshed out through the story. In book two, we aren't sure what to think of him until the ending. But his scenes in book three are so memorable and brave that you can't help but love him. Between his selflessness with Annie and the way he helps Katniss through her difficulty knowing Peeta's being tortured make him the stand out character he is. But what divides the fandom is the way he died. His character deserved more than lizard mutt chow. And he kind of gets glossed over as a toss in. Oh hey, yeah. Finnick's dead. Realistic, yes. Unfair, hell yes.

All my friends are dead moment #3: Everyone knows this one. Because the ENTIRE series was built around saving her. Oh, Prim. We knew you were screwed the moment Suzanne Collins started building your character up a lot in book three. Her death was heartbreaking, not only because she was Katniss's entire reason for living, but because it also splintered Katniss' friendships and remaining family. The mother ditches her (way to go, deadbeat mom) and Gale, being the one who might've been responsible for the killing bombs, goes off to another district never to be heard from again. But. I see what you did there Collins. Symbolically, Prim was Katniss' whole reason for living and part of surviving trauma is finding a new reason to live. So Prim ultimately had to die in Katniss' transformation as a character as part of shedding the past and creating her own life.

Rating: 4

Codex Alera: The Furies of Calderon (No Furies? No Problem)

As an avid reader of the Dresden Files, I was antsy to read Jim Butcher's hand at anything, frankly. He doesn't disappoint in the Codex of Alera either. The story and world are well crafted, and his trademark action sequences are always enjoyable. This being a very different beast, it had little of Dresden Files snark and humor, but still remained a really fun read. The different races such as the Marat added dimension to the world, as did his unique system of magic called furycrafting.


***SPOILER ALERT***


Tavi runs for his life part 1: The story follows many different characters, but there's one theme that consistently crops up of Tavi running for his life. The first part where he's escaping from imminent danger involves the Marat. These people are a different race than most of the main characters, Alerans. When Tavi and his Uncle Bernard stumble upon them, it becomes very clear that the Marat aren't supposed to be around. This quickly ties into the other storyline involving a Cursor named Amara who is trying to protect the throne. An usurper rallies the Marat to invade Calderon and weaken the First Lord Gaius. Unfortunately, Tavi gets caught in the crosshairs and stuck out in the elements with Amara. 

Tavi runs for his life part 2: Tavi's great luck continues as he ends up captive at the hands of the Marat. Which doesn't involve a lot of happy fun time as these blokes want to serve him up like sashimi, nice and raw. He catches the interest of one Marat chieftan though, who uses Tavi as a potential way to overthrow the other corrupt leader. The agreement? Tavi and the Marat chieftan's own whelp will participate in a Trial of Wits. Whomever wins is in the right. Which means Tavi will not get devoured alive. However, during said trial, while Tavi's smarts may get him through with his life, he wakes up a big, bad, unknown beastie. Continuing his winning streak of...running for his life.

Tavi runs for his life part 3: So, meanwhile in the rest of the book, everyone else has been busy getting themselves into dire situations. Which makes it perfect for when Tavi interrupts their failing stand at Calderon to bring in an opposing army of Marat to save the day. But the brief cheer that's brought on his arrival quickly falls to chaos. And when he steals the Marat leader's knife, containing the name of the usurper behind the attacks, suddenly everyone focuses their attention on him again. And he's again, running for his life. This kid lands in the worst freaking scenarios. Regardless, with the aid of his companions, including an ex-swordsman turned dullard, they manage to save Calderon, so Tavi can finally take a break and catch his breath.

Rating: 3