The Coal Elf (Santa Claus, the Communist)

All the Communism coincidences aside, this was a really fun read. I might not call it YA but more MG based on the tone and character interactions, but nonetheless, it was an interesting take on Santa and his elves. Ember was a strong main character and you gain a lot of respect for her throughout the novel. I thought the underlying message was strong in that the order must be kept and people must fulfill their place in society for it to work efficiently. That cog in the big wheel mentality did strike me as very Communistic which I'd never think of putting with Santa Claus...and yet it works, really well. And gives the whole story/setting quite a unique take. 

***SPOILER ALERT***

Rumblings in the Mines #1: While the first part of the story dwells on how much Ember hates being a Coal elf (miserable life that it is...I mean Coppleysites? Eww.), things really kick into motion when Sturd rips up the list. We're talking the reason for Coal Elves in the first place, the list of Naughty and Nice. After all, if there weren't any naughty, no one would be needed to work down in the mines. Based on Ember's feelings in the beginning of the story, I was surprised to see her try and salvage said list, but she collects the pieces, believing them to be important.

Rumblings in the Mines #2: Ember spends her time fixing the List, but meanwhile, things are changing down below. They don't deliver the coal on Christmas. None of the elves down below work, except for Ember, furiously pushing ahead to fix the old List. But because the coal isn't delivered, it disrupts the balance. After all, their main food, Nessie fruit, comes from kids' happiness. Now they've got an overabundance of Nessie. The overflow causes most of it to rot and both above and below, people are getting sicker and sicker. Some are dying, especially up above. 

Rumblings in the Mines #3: With a repaired List and a dying friend, Ember decides to breach the surface. If she leaves, she'll be severely punished as a deserter, but with everyone falling ill, she doesn't know what else to do.With the help of the others, Ember manages to sneak to the surface, even with Sturd hot at her heels the entire time. She uses a rejected reindeer and flies to the Boss's lair to confront the higher ups about what's been going on in their land. The small Council she runs into seems highly disorganized and inept at handling the problems down below. But with the old List and a willing volunteer in Ember, she becomes Santa's official helper, the Coal Elf to deliver coal to the bad children on Christmas.

What I thought was most intriguing about the ending is that it didn't end with her going back up to the surface or living happily ever after underground with her crush. Instead, it focused on how her role in society made her happy, reinforcing the heavy Communist undertones of the book. I found this absolutely fascinating and definitely not what I expected--in a good way. Although, the book is worth reading for the creative world alone. The author builds an incredibly detailed universe off of the traditions surrounding Christmas.

Rating: 4

Hidden Trump (Forget Fangs, Vamps carry assault weapons)

Amber's back with bisexual love abounding. Athanate, like all vampires love mingling blood and sex, so throughout this book, she's oozing the charm with male and female alike. Being Athanate hasn't changed her that much. She still totes a gun and follows the same ultra paranoia as before. She's still a strong, kickass character. Only this time she's got Skylur and gang backing her rather than going through everything alone. The introduction of pack and werewolf was a great addition to the universe as well, giving the story an extra punch.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Athanates Assemble #1: When they say don't drink the Kool Aid, what they're really referring to is Amber's blood. For some reason, (which is still unexplained) Amber's blood binds quick and fast and not only is David part of House Farrell after she lets him drink from her, but Pia by proxy as well. Skylur's pretty pissed, but once they realize she wasn't intentionally trying to steal away members, they start trying to figure out the mystery that is her blood. At the heart of all of this is the question of what possibly bit her to make her this different.

Athanates Assemble #2: While on her mad recruiting spree, she accidentally takes in more refugees to House Farrell. Not that she isn't charismatic enough to do it on her own, but every time she uses her Athanate juju and bloodshares, she seems to add more misfits to her motley crew. First she causes problems with Alex. His pack is pissed because he's part House Farrell now. The two of them try and figure things out, but their insatiable sex drives end up pushing them closer and closer together. Near the end when Jen's all dying and sickly, Amber's healing magic ends up converting her to Team Farrell too. Tullah's a wildcard still, but her dragon seems to like Amber an awful lot...which probably means there's another non-Athanate Athanate member.

Athanates Assemble #3: The whole book was gearing up to this Athanate assembly. All of the loose threads ended up tying together nice and neat when House Farrell was brought to question and Skylur dropped some truth bombs to make sure things turned out the way he wanted: towards Emergence. Bian's dedication and Skylur's cleverness brought a lot of points to the Altau during this book and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing more of them. I liked the theme of betrayal throughout because until the very end, I wasn't sure if one of the Altau was going to end up slipping a dagger in Amber's back. I'm glad they didn't.

While I loved everything Amber was involved with during this, I thought Kingslund was kind of a throwaway character. She had such a presence and purpose in the first book, but this one she faded to the background only to show up at the end to get kidnapped and nearly killed. Personally, I would've been okay with seeing her knocked off, since I could do without all her "Honey" this and that. The best parts of the book? Everything with the Weres and Alex. So much fun.

Rating: 4

*I received this book for review purposes

The Blemished (Headwraps aren't just for Hippies anymore)

Welcome to the U.K. where GEMs, otherwise known as clones are held up as perfection and the regular folks are Blemished, forced to work menial tasks and serve the beautiful ones. The story enters into a great, original world and you really empathize with the main character, Mina's trials. Even their reproductive rights are compromised as Blemished, which really contributes into the whole grim feel of the world. The different rules and regulations that are put on normal humans even makes it stand out. In fact, the only real issue I had with the story is that occasionally the dialogue would come off very stiff and some of the scenes tended to jump too much.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Murder-Troll stirs up trouble #1: Sebastian seems like your regular good guy in a sea of perfectly vicious GEMs. He stands out when he's kind to Mina even though she's a Blem. Likewise, with her being unused to that kind of attention, she naturally finds herself drawn to this pretty boy. However, interaction between the two sects is strictly forbidden and their teacher Murgatroyd lurks in the corner, interrupting any chance they have together. First at school the teacher stops them from interacting and then when they go on a pseudo date, Murder-Troll gets all up in their rear view mirror. 

Murder-Troll stirs up trouble #2: Mina disregards the stigma against her and Sebastian and begins meeting up with him after hours. Even though she's got feelings for Daniel, she doesn't want to pursue them because her friend Angela liked him first. Welp, of course in a highly regulated society like this, her midnight excursions with the purty GEM boy get noticed. By good ol' creeper Murgatroyd too. In order to teach Mina a lesson, she cuts off her hair in front of the class. But this action sparks a reaction in Daniel, who's been falling for Mina the whole time. And he makes a dumb decision to trash Murder-Troll's house.

Murder-Troll stirs up trouble #3: Due to Daniel and Mina's ill advised foray into becoming taggers, Murgatroyd takes revenge the easy way, by setting the Enforcers, aka cops, on them. Blems who commit a crime like that get strung up on Sundays and they're forced to run. After a weird side trip to Uncanny Valley with Sebastian's GEM family in their farmhouse on the outskirts, they're back on the lam again. Because in this world, teenage rebelliousness=death.

The world was unique and the story itself was really interesting. I love what was done with this dystopian universe. Apart from the characters sometimes coming off as flat/unrealistic, it was a cool foray into dystopia with a splash of Scottish near the end. 

Rating: 3 

*I received this book for review purposes

Frostbite (Active listening? What's that?)

While I enjoyed the first book, this was the turning point for me. This book was exciting from start to finish and hammered in how dangerous/fucked up the Strigoi are from the start. Unlike in the first book where they felt like flat villains, in Frostbite, the Strigoi are monsters and they've come to shake foundations in the Moroi and dhampir circles. Rose, while a bit more childish in this book, really comes into her own by the end. The discrepancies in her character are really befitting of her age and the volatile nature of her personality. This book was a keeper.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Which Boy is it Now? #1: While Dimitri's always in Rose's peripheral vision, he starts out strong and then takes a backseat during a large portion of the novel while she's avoiding him. The Tasha situation really drives home some strong realizations about the world they live in and what's required of them as guardians. Arrangements as simple as being assigned to different Moroi could tear them apart and understanding that brings a deeper level of desperation and bleakness to their relationship. However, despite all of the obstacles against them, they still manage to steal some simmering moments during the book, especially near the end.

Which Boy is it Now? #2: A new character into the series, Adrian is a fun sort of irritating from the start. He smokes cloves and follows Rose around like a puppy that relishes in your angry squeals as it nips your heels. However, because of his reputation, even standing in the same room as him causes problems for Rose. About every person she interacts with during the book at some point tells her to stay away from Adrian because he's a bad guy, or gets into trouble. But in actuality, he's got a lot more going on underneath the surface, including the same type of mojo as Lissa, that spirit schtick.

Which Boy is it Now? #3: Mason is a large character in this book. Despite Rose flirting with him, even making out with him and their farce of a relationship, she still doesn't feel anything towards him more than friendship. However, he adores her and likewise, can't help how he feels. But when he gets fired up to take on Strigoi and his fight with Rose pushes him to be impulsive, he nails his own coffin shut. Which is a shame, because he was a likeable guy. She never gets the chance to break his heart, because the Strigoi kill him, leaving his death on her conscience forever. 

So, definitely sad that Mason died. He was awesome. But the fight with the Strigoi was all the levels of badassery I was hoping for from the first book that never delivered. The events of the book also hammer a new level of somberness and responsibility into Rose that was never there before and works for her very well. Plus, all the clashing with her mom stuff was incredibly tense, but really well written.

Rating: 4

Weekly Wednesday MFK: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Time to delve into a little more SciFi with Hitchhiker's Guide!!!

Humanoids:

Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, Tricia McMillan

Robots:

Marvin, Deep Thought, Sirius Cybernetics Shipboard Computer

My Take:

Humanoids:

Arthur Dent- Marry. Not only is it an obligation to continue the species since he's the last man alive, but he's kind of mild mannered and sweet which is a plus in terms of marriageability.
Ford Prefect-Fuck. He's been around the galaxy so I'd definitely want to take a spin. But I think he'd be so involved in his research that it'd be tough to pull anything long term.
Tricia McMillan- Kill. She's not going to contribute a hella lot, so she may as well get knocked off. 

Robots:

Marvin- Fuck. Too depressive to deal with on a regular basis, but all that misery may turn into an interesting robo fling. Or it could be utterly droll, but either way, it's an exciting shot in the dark.
Deep Thought- Kill.While the machine is brilliant, if I ask the wrong question, it may take five million years to get back to me. I'd have gotten bored and wandered off well before ever getting the answer.
Sirius Cybernetics Shipboard Computer- Marry. Hey, this thing is programmed for companionship. Plus, I can definitely deal with all the pep and concern that this machine emits. Out of the robots, I think it's best suited for marriage.

Miss Gallifrey's Take:


Humanoids:

Arthur Dent- Fuck. He's the last earth man left
Ford Prefect- Marry- He knows his way around the universe and has a lot of useful information in certain situations
Tricia McMillan- Kill. She's of no use to me.

Robots:

Marvin- Kill. That's what he really wants anyway. And it would be too depressing to have him around all the time.
Deep Thought- Marry. It knows pretty much everything so the conversations would never be boring.
Sirius Cybernetics Shipboard Computer- Fuck. I'm sure there's lots of buttons to push :D

Vampire Academy (Beware of those scary dead animals, oh blood-sucking vampire)

Apart from the general bloodsuckiness, blood whore accusations and magical shenanigans, St. Vladmir's Academy appears like any other high school: full of drama, gossip and cliques. Rose is sassy which means I like her, even if she's a little full of herself sometimes. Dimitri's definitely a plus in the story. As a hardass trainer with a Russian accent, it's only to follow that she'd be attracted. The Moroi/Dhampir relationship's fresh and it makes up for the kinda anticlimax about the Strigoi. We hear a lot about them, but since they don't actually do much throughout the book, it doesn't really grip us with terror. The only thing that kept coming up at the mention of Strigoi was the thought that it sounds a whole lot like Strega.

***SPOILER ALERT***

 Let's Mess with Lissa #1: The book starts off with Rose taking her bodyguarding duty seriously and continues that way. When they return to St. Vlad's, the problems for Lissa start almost at once. Lissa's a gentle (i.e. weak) soul that dredges up every ounce of protectiveness in Rose, which is good because it gives her a likeable, responsible side to balance out the impulsive decisions and backtalking. The first attempt to seriously screw with Lissa's head though starts with the dead animals on her bed. This sends Lissa off into a spiral that Rose knows and can feel, but doesn't know how to stop. 

Let's Mess with Lissa #2: In case there weren't already enough problems dealing with the rumors that circulated after they escaped, a short chick, Mia, decides to make their lives hell. While at first she just throws around damaging rumors, Mia aims to hurt Lissa by targeting Rose. The blood whore rumor spreads around school. Rose handles it, but the whole situation pushes Lissa over the edge. She decides to quell the rumor by using compulsion like whoa. Lissa goes from being weak to Miss Socialite, buzzing around and manipulating the other nobles. Not any of which is helping her mental state.

Let's Mess with Lissa #3: The cherry on top of the Lissa shit sundae is Victor, who appeared a kindly old dude for most of the book. But turns out, he's dying and wants Lissa's healing juju to help keep him alive. Not a one time dealie either, he wants his own pet healer. Rose doesn't dig this in the slightest. Luckily it's her bond with Lissa that saves the day since she manages to place herself in Lissa's body for enough time to figure out where she's at. They find out all of the stuff that's been going on to push Lissa over the edge has been Victor's doing with the help of "nice" Natalie.

We finally meet the Strigoi at the end of the book in the form of Natalie turned crazypants. However, she's too much for Rose to take on and Dimitri storms in cowboy style and saves the day. Dimitri and Rose leave a lot of intrigue since after getting hot and heavy they can't be together. Not if both of them are going to be guardians to Lissa. (Man, Lissa, you're raining on the love parade) Still, a fun first entry into the world that definitely entices me to read on.

Rating: 4

Weekly Wednesday MFK: Harry Potter Part 2

Time for Harry Potter to take another spin, this time with the adult good guys in the series!

Girls:

Nymphadora Tonks, Minerva McGonagall, Molly Weasley

Guys:

Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Arthur Weasley

My Take:

Girls:

Nymphadora Tonks- Marry. Tonks is just....awesome. Between her excellent fighting abilities and ever-changing hair, she'd just be an incredibly fun person to bring along for the ride. Being married to her would never be boring!
Minerva McGonagall- Kill. Sorry McGonagall. While you had some badass moments, you played it safe much too often and therefore you fall under the guillotine today!
Molly Weasley- Fuck. She must have some charms in the sack. After all, look at how many children she popped out. Obviously Mr. Weasley managed to score one spicy redhead.

Guys:

Sirius Black- Marry. He was wrongly locked up, but Sirius is a bad boy you can keep. After all, when he got the chance, he proved himself to be an excellent godfather to Harry.
Remus Lupin- Fuck. He's got to have a violent, wild side in the bedroom if a. he can keep Tonks happy and b. he turns into a werewolf.
Arthur Weasley- Kill. Poor, sweet, dear Mr. Weasley. He's an awesome character, although sometimes he needed to nut up a bit more. Unfortunately compared to the other two, he doesn't hold a candle.

Captain Redbeard's Take:

Girls:

Nymphadora Tonks- Fuck. Why? Cos she's not old and would probably be good for a roll in the hay. 
Minerva McGonagall- Marry. She's old and probably has good insurance.
Molly Weasley- Kill. Sorry Weasleys, but hey, half of you end up dead or injured so what's one more?

Guys:

Sirius Black- Fuck. Arbitrary choice!
Remus Lupin- Kill. General wolfiness!!
Arthur Weasley- Marry. Because he's a ginger. Plus, I'm not marrying a werewolf.